now what?

well everything was going good. i had a location and talent set up. i had a camera and everything. i even had a second camera (also a 3ccd) and it turns out that i might have neither!

it turns out that for a for a camera that i signed out i need a Proficiency.this sucks!! i dont have one for this camera! so i might have to cancle this shoot and hopefully rebook it and shoot and edit before this is due....i put a note on the profs desk and he didnt phone back..the other perosn with the camera didnt phone back or email me.wow what else can go wrong? i know i can't fail and i can't take this class again next year. i cant fuck this up again! i so now i have to go to school early hope to see if i can take the Proficiency if not...ill have to hope that someone doesnt pick up their equiptment. anyway

so ill do what i always do and listen to some "uplifting" music. tool comes to mind,
the lyrics of maynard james keenan. here is an example of what i listend to when i got this news today

i know the pieces fit cuz I watched them fall away
mildewed and smoldering, fundamental differing,
pure intention juxtaposed will set two lovers souls in motion
disintegrating as it goes testing our communication
the light that fueled our fire then has burned a hole between us so
we cannot see to reach an end crippling our communicatioooon.

I know the pieces fit cuz I watched them tumble down
no fault, none to blame it doesn't mean I don't desire to
point the finger, blame the other, watch the temple topple over.
To bring the pieces back together, rediscover communicatioooon.

The poetry that comes from the squaring off between,
And the circling is worth it.
Finding beauty in the dissonance.

There was a time that the pieces fit, but I watched them fall away.
Mildewed and smoldering, strangled by our coveting
I've done the the math enough to know the dangers of a second guessing
Doomed to crumble unless we grow, and strengthen our communicatioooon.

cold, cold, cold,
Cold silence haaaas
a tendency toooo
atrophy anyyyyy
sense of compassiooooon.

between supposed loverrrs
between supposed brotherrrrrs.

(I know the pieces fit. 7x)
I know the pieces fiiit!

its almost like i know the pices fit like when i had everything planed out and working. i watched them fall away. cant get a camera (yet.crossing fingers)disintegrating as it goes testing our communication i cant get my story accross because i cant get a camera and i might fail.no fault, none to blame it doesn't mean I don't desire to point the finger,it dosnt have that you need a second Proficiency in the sign out book so how im i suposed to know..its no ones fault. he said this in a class but im exempt from it,