one of the scarest moments of my life

I was walking me dogs like I do almost every day but today was a little different. She chases after some birds and then stops when I call her (akane). The farthest she has ever swum was just out a little bit to go see this log thing in the river by my house. Today she chased the ducks across the river, and back again, swam in the middle of the river. I think the ducks were scared and tried get her tired and make her give up, also they had little baby ducks with them. So that’s not the end of it


The ducks swim out into the lake. So I go into the water to try and get her leash and drag her in. well the water dropped off and next thing I know I’m over my head in water. And me not being the best swimmer that isn’t a fun experience. So here I am looking at a dog swimming out into the lake and me sitting and trying to figure out how to tell everyone that a dog is more than likely dead and drowned chasing ducks. It’s not often that I cry or even admit to doing so but that’s was I did. I dropped down and just let it go. By this time I couldn't yell for akane anymore because I was yelling the whole time. I took sugar (other dog) home and told my dad that akane is dead. He starts yelling at me. I tell him to fuck off I almost drowned myself trying to get her back. He jumps in the tuck to see if akane is still alive. I change my cloths get on my bike and go where she was.

My dad has an artificial leg so him trying to walk down this slop on one side of the river with a cane. I go to the other side with my bike trying to find her. I hear no ducks quacking so i’m thinking she is dead forsure. then i see this black thing on the other side i bike faster to get to it. Maybe its akane...its her....she is scared of me. She knows she did wrong i take her to the truck and spank her. She runs into the truck, (i have never hit her before. she walked up stairs with my dad and tried to get into my room i told her no...She looked at me funny and went to the other room. Later i finished cutting the grass and she was at the door wanting to go out. I let her out and sat down. I was petting sugar and then akane comes up to me and asking for forgiveness. I pet her and she wouldn’t leave me she was begging for forgiveness. Thinking back on what happened i had to give it to her forgiveness that is. She could have ran away when i took sugar back and i could have never found her. But she was waiting for me where she likes to go swimming. So things could have been worse. Everyone one i home safe and i should just be thankful of that and not be mad at akane.
And at least if she does this again i know i can take one dog home and she will still be hopefully fine. Thank god out in the lake there is some sand parts making the water walk able out there. I think that’s what saved akane.

What a day!

RESIGNATION

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have
decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old again.
I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant.
I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.
I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.
I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on
a hot summer's day. I want to return to a time when life was
simple; When all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery
rhymes, but that didn't bother you,because you didn't know what you
didn't know and you didn't care.

All you knew was to be happybe cause you were blissfully unaware of
all the things that should make you worried or upset.
I want to think the world is fair.That everyone is honest and good.
I want to believe that anything is possible. I want to be oblivious
to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things
again.

I want to live simple again. I don't want my day to consist of
computer crashes, mountains of paperwork,depressing news, how to survive more days
in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness,
and loss of loved ones. I want to believe in the power of
smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth,justice, peace, dreams, the imagination,
mankind, and making angels in the snow. So . . . here's my checkbook
and my car-keys, my credit card bills and my 401K statements. I am officially
resigning from adulthood.And if you want to discuss this
further, you'll have to catch me
first,

From "Monty Python"

Fuck
3122 up, 285 down


From "Monty Python"

Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the english language today, is the word fuck. Out of all the english words that begin with the letter 'f' ...fuck is the only word refered to as 'the f word... It's the one magical word. Just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. Fuck, as most words in the english language is derived from german ...the word fuieken, which means to strike.
In english, fuck falls into many grammatical categories:

As a transitive verb for intance ...John fucked Shirley.
As an intransitive verb...Shirley fucks.

Its meaning is not always sexual, it can be used as...

An adjective such as ...John's doing all the fucking work.
As part of an adverb ...Shirley talks too fucking much.
As an adverb enhancing an adjective ...Shirley is fucking beautiful.
As a noun ...I don't give a fuck.
As part of a word ...absofuckinglutely -or- infuckingcredible.
And as almost every word in a sentence ...Fuck the fucking fuckers.

As you must realize, there aren't too many words with the versatility of fuck...such as these examples describing situations such as:

Fraud ...I got fucked at the used car lot.
Dismay ...ahhh fuck it.
Trouble ...I guess I'm really fucked now.
Agression ...Don't fuck with me buddy.
Difficulty ...I don't understand this fucking question.
Inquiry ...Who the fuck was that?
Dissatisfaction ...I don't like what the fuck is going on here.
Incompetance ...He's a fuck-off.
Dismissal ...Why don't you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself...

I'm sure you can think of many more examples.
With all these multi-purpose applications, how can anyone be offended when you use the word. We say use this unique, flexible word more often in your daily speech.
It will identify the quality of your character immediately.
Say it loudly and proudly...
...FUCK YOU!

one word, pennies....lol

Johnny always wanted to have sex with this hot blonde girl in his office but she belonged to someone else. One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said: "I will give you a $100 if you let me have you" but the girl said "NO".

Johnny said I'll be fast, I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up.

She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult with her boyfriend. So she called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says ask him for $200, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down. So she agrees and accepts the proposal.

Half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what
happened. She said "The Son of Bitch used coins and I had to keep my word

my new gf.....i could only be so lucky....lol