things

god i felt like shit today. no energy to do anything, i should go to school tonight but im not going to. still have stuff at home to do but watching six feet under right now the last season. i went to work to get some black ink for my printer and started to talk to tanya. for some reason i felt better.more energy that is fading..lol..i think i need a gf, someone not in my family, someone to be around, someone to modivate me to do better, to better myself, but anyway i rant on and nothing will change

catch up time and things

well one week left in class and for some reason i think im no going to make it. but im still going to try. lots to catch up on and this strike didnt help. if and when i fail this year im going to say that i just suck at everything. second thing ill fail out at. maybe my life should just be at walmart. everything just sucks. no one will tell me what to improve on,cant get a date,no one will respond to me on plentyoffish. my life just sucks ass.knowing my luck if i payed for sex they will turn me down.or maybe im just too Old fashioned by thinking that there is someone out there for everyone,maybe i should just go to the bar and hit on some barchick and get her drunk and get things done and over with, forget about feelings,forget about happyness, live in the moment and just deal with the now and worry about the then later.but then again what do i know.hopefully venting this fustration will get me to calm down a bit and i can relax and get some sleep, have some editing to do tomorrow and then a presentaion to do. im just as good at presentating as i am at dating,and that is not good. but what the fuck. right now i could care less about just basically about everything, but ill still give a go at it.

nin lyrics

again sometimes songs are great for what im feeling at the momenet....no luck with the fairer sex, plenty of fish..lol...no fish in the sea i guess for me. ohh well

NINE INCH NAILS LYRICS

"Gave Up"

perfect little dream the kind that hurts the most
forgot how it feels well almost
no one to blame always the same
open my eyes wake up in flames
it took you to make me realize
it took you to make me realize
it took you to make me realize
it took you to make me see the light
smashed up my sanity
smashed up my integrity
smashed up what i believed in
smashed up what's left of me
smashed up my everything
smashed up all that was true
gonna smash myself to pieces
i don't know what else to do
covered in hope and vaseline
still cannot fix this broken machine
watching the hole it used to be mine
just watching it burn in my steady systematic decline
of the trust i will betray
give it to me i throw it away
after everything i've done i hate myself for what i've become
i tried
i gave up
throw it away

wow

wow no one putting a post on things to improve on plentyoffish.either im perfect in everyway(i know im not) or i have that many flaws that its too long to post and my profile just sucks. or maybe its just me. the reason why the person didnt respond is because its me. the only thing that i can think of is a new pic. or maybe its the written part of it. ill put it out there again for those that know me. if there is anything i should add or take away please tell me. im thinking of sending a message to everyone on plentlyoffish and see if i get at least one responce.with that many people out there i think i should at least get one. but here comes the sad think i thought about. how sad and pathetic would i feel if i dont get one responce from all those people?

ill tell you now ill feel like shit. but it would make one hell of a blog posting!

asking for help

k. my plenty of fish profile apparently sucks soo i need help to reamp it, what ineed is

1) what looks good on it
2) what should be changed
3) what should i add


i wonder if i should put anything about sex on there or not? a serious comment or not, like if anyone is willing to teach me how to do things...

anything your willing to say will be a good thing because its becoming verry clear to me that i cant get a date or a responce.

this is why i was put on this earth

friday

now i hear laura dosnt want to drink on friday. this is a little disapointing because she bugged me the last 2 times that i didnt drink as much as she thought i would. and now that i am drinking she isnt? whats up with that?

but hopefully we will end up going to the fox and getting some guinness but its going to be busy there. so ill put this idea out there...what about cfolds then...joo get you out there for the first time.

ohh well its just ideas now and lets see if this little posting will get laura drinking..lol

pool and bar

(great i just found out my grandmother may have had a stroke and i have to work tonight)

went out last night with lisa and her aussie boy toy (Cameron). and found out he is a good guy,got along with him great. gave me a little advice on what to do and not do when im in austrailia so thats good. i now not to say 2 fisting it because it dosnt have the same defination there as it does here. over here it means haveing a drink in each hand but over there it means.....well think about what 2 fisting would mean in a porn...lol. but still no dancing for me that night.they look good together, they act just like pat and joo does....good for lisa on finding him.


do not get wings at fat cats on red river. they changed what they call dry cajun and now it tastes like shit...well not literally shit but dosnt taste good. thank god i got it changed because people where complaining about it.


the intowner was ok. lisa wanted to show Cameron where everyone use to hang out. the drinking continued. people there are not as smart as they use to be. one of lisa's friends who just had turned 19 this year sometime went dancing and left her purse on the table. now if i was someone else they could just have taken the purse and she wouldnt have known who did it and taken the what ever money she had in he inside.


and does anyone want to redo my plenty of fish profile? because the one i have isnt working for me..

sarahs bday

i hope sarah liked the gift and the shooter that i bought her.if you would have told me what you wanted i would have gotten you something better..but you didnt so now ou will learn for next time..lol

for all these years i didnt want to say this in public but ill do it here and not....I LOVE YOU...anne murray...for all these years i have been not a true fan like i should and now i have to admit that on my ipod there is a section of just your music...wow that feels good to get that out in the open...(that last little rant was just for you laura)

but i think that things went good tonight...i didnt expect to talk to laura about porn(am i seriously the only one that hasnt seen the paris hilton video?) and our mutual love of anne murray...the love i just found out tonight that i have.

yes laura ill tell you the password later to the playboy cyberclub if you still want it. you can find lots of pics there

as for the hodder bar...wow i wish we could have gone to the fastlane...that place is way better than the hodder. and the bartender at the fastlane is at least good looking over there...not to take away anything from the lovely ladies i was with tonight.but that aside the night was put to an end with me only drinking 2 beer on the night i know its not me but still....im going to make it up next friday for st pattys day...im getting soo drunk its not going to be funny...well its going to be funny seeing how much im going to put on my visia...laura you will see me drunk like you wont beleve it that day...if you are going to hang out with me and who ever is getting drunk with me.

but singing tea party WITH JOO IN HER CAR on the way back home was fun, THANKS FOR THE RIDE>>>LOL. thats it thats all...nothing else happened i swear!


haa i almost forgot to mention the little dance thing again laura..and that little hugg thing at applebees....lol....i didnt forget and that was the BEST THING OF THE NIGHT!!

ebay does it again!

wow just when i thought i saw it all i saw this!

dear mell.....fuck you!

well i guess im not that surprised that this ended up this way...but we were really starting to work well together after all the non comunications in the begining....ohh welll fuck you mell.....its not my fault that i was sick on firday and didnt make class and that the teacher didnt read the email....fuck you mell....unlike some i have to work to pay bills im not sure if you have any but from that stupid comment that i should have gotten someone to cover for me...fuck you mell...maybe you want to pay my bills for me...fuck you mell....you got to love when you eat something and then you dont feel good for the rest of the day....fuck you mell..anyway enough of me i just thought id vent a little....and in closing

FUCK YOU MELL!

again more tool lyrics...now named the mell song untill i get this video done and im not pissed at her anymore

TOOL LYRICS

"Hush"

Fuck youuuuuuu!

I can't say what I want to,
even if I'm not serious.
I can't say what I want to,
even if I'm not serious.
Things like....
Fuck yourself, fuck Yourself,
you piece of shit, why don't you just go, kill yourself!
I said,
I can't say what I want to, even if I'm not serious.
I can't say what I want to, even if I'm just kiddiiiiingg!

People tell me what to say,
what to think, and what to play.
I said, people tell me what to say,
what to think, and what to play.
Things like.... Fuck yourself
fuck Yourself,
you piece of shit, why don't you just go kill yourself?
I said, I can't say what I want to, even if I'm not serious.
I can't say what I want to, even if, I'm just kiddiiiiingg.

Fuck yourself,
Fuck yourself,
you piece of shit,
why don't you go fuck yourseeeeeeeelf?

People tell me what to say,
what to think, and what to play.
I said, people tell me what to say,
what to think, and what to playyyy!

Just Kidding [3x]

last night

here are some pro's and kahns (sorry kahn i just had to)

pro
1-meet new people.
2-saw laura and sarah drunk
3-sarah being accused of stealing the knif and fork and having to explain that she
has no mortor skills at the moment and droped them
4-the waitress at the fast lane was pretty hot
5-going to go back there with some classmates some time this week(wonder if the
waitress will be there?)
6-listening to sarah and sarah e and mell order food and making it sound sexual
7-seeing laura passed out in the front of a truck

cons
1-drunk people should not sing Pink Floyd Comfortably Numb!
2-no matter how good women are at singing they should not sing metallica. expecially
one of my fav songs!( Nothing Else Matters )
3-still being a little on the sick side and not being able to drink as much as i
wanted because of the fist 2 cons
4-turning down a full beer because i didnt want to drink it.(Alchol Abuse)
5- not playing pool with someone for money even thought i know i could have beat him
handly
6- playing pool 4 times and trying to loose all 4 times. not only this but trying to
make it look like im trying..in the same time trying to set him up. and trying to
convince myself that what im doing is the right thing to do.normally i dont throw
games of pool but with laura there i felt that i should at least let him win a
couple of games. so i did. i guess he figured that out after i had only one ball
other than the 8 ball on the table and i let him come back to only the 8.i only did
this for all 4 games.ohh well.

AND THE BEST THING ABOUT LAST NIGHT WAS LAURA DOING A LITTLE DANCE THING INFRONT OF ME THEN ASKING IF I WATNED TO GO DANCE.sorry i didnt put that in before.